Tuesday, November 20, 2007

mdahalo wa familia unapozua mzozo

Siku mtu na mkewe walikuwa wanabishana ni nani muoga
kuliko mwenziwe,mume anasema mke muoga na mke anasema
mume muoga ndipo walipoamua kuwauliza watoto wao


Baba =Naomba kuwauliza ni na nani kati ya mimi na mama yenu mwoga zaidi


Mtoto 1=mama mwoga sababu anaogopa hata kutoka nje usiku wakati baba akiwa amesafiri


Mtoto 2=Baba ndio muoga zaidi maana anaogopa kulala peke yake mama kama siku akiondoka anamuita Msichana wakazi analala nae.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.
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2 the most common name in the world is Mohammed.
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3 . The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.
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4 . The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
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5 . There are two credit cards for every person in the United States .
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6 . TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
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7 . Women blink nearly twice as much as men!
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8. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath ..
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9 . It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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10. People say "Bless you" when you sneeze because when you Sneeze, your heart stops for a millisecond.
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11 . It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.
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12 . The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
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13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to Suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.
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14 . Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from History. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great; " Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.
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15.

11 x 11=121

111 x111=12321

1111x1111=1234321

11111x11111=123454321

111111x111111=12345654321

1111111x1111111=1234567654321

111111111x111111111=123456787654321

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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16. If a statue of a person in the park on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has a all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
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17 What do bullet proof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers and laser printers all have in common?
Ans. - All invented by women.
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18. Honey - This is the only food that doesn't spoil.
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19. A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
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20. A snail can sleep for three years.
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21. All polar bears are left handed.
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22. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
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23 . Butterflies taste with their feet.
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24 Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
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25 . In the last 4000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.
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26 . On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.
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27 . Shakespeare invented the word 'assassination' and 'bump'.
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28. Stewardesses is the longest word typed with only the left hand.
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29. The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
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30 . The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
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31 . The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
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32 Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.
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33. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
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34 . The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
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35. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
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36 . Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different
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37. And finally 99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

Knowledge is to be shared & enjoyed

Friday, November 09, 2007

NI KWELI HIZI NDIO TABIA ZA WANAWAKE WA MAKABILA HAYA?

CHAGGA WOMEN
First Date: You get to buy her Amarula (or Redds), mbuzi choma and dance the whole night. You have to buy her credit, to organize for the second date.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends Amarula (or Redds), mbuzi choma and dance to the whole night. You exchange your expensive phone with her nokia.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She tells you she is engaged and you are a kyasaka

ZIGUA/ DIGO WOMEN

First date: She wants your home address
Second date: She comes home for the date with her brother (who is looking for a job)
Third date: She ends at the door, her mother is waiting
Fourth date: You have sex and she tells you she is pregnant and want you to take her and her baby

WAHAYA WOMEN
First Date: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk as you dance to Saida Karoli and later have sex.

SUKUMA WOMEN
First Date: You take her to a movie and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes ugali and chicken.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you and insists on a 3-carat ring.
4th Anniversary: You already have 3 kids together and hate the thought of having sex.
5th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.

HEHE WOMEN
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Guinness, and have sex in the back of your car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in ... and you get to eat rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice before you met her .

ZARAMO WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her dinner, but you realize nothing is going to happen.
Second date: You wait for her in the same restaurant but she gets lost on the way.
Third date: She does not even remember to pick your calls.

NYAKYUSA WOMEN
First date: After a date of drinking several bottles of Fanta, you get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
Third date: You get to have sex, but only in the missionary position.

ZANZIBARI WOMEN
First Date: You get dynamite head.
Second Date: You get more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.

MAASAI WOMEN
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner, but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.

MAKONDE WOMEN
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night and you get to ask her, her name

PARE WOMEN
First date: She wants sex, no food or drink
Second date: She wants more sex
Third date: She only wants ..apanimefuta

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Binadamu sasa tunatia kichefchefu

Real disgusting news happened in Palpa , Nepal yesterday evening.
Mother wants to eat meat and she cut her own child.
Unfortunately she was caught before she cooked the child.

habari hii inasikitisha na inaogopesha nitaiondoa hapa baada ya muda