simu za mkononi na masharti yake

wanasema tutumie sikio la kushoto kusikilizia simu za mkononi, wakimaanisha kuna madhara ya kutumia sikio la kulia kwa matumizi hayo, bado haijaniingia akilini, naomba kufaamishwa,
nawasilisha

TEMBO WA NGORONGORO

Tanzania tumejaliwa vivutio vingi vya asili lakini bado atujafaidi matunda yatokanayo na mazao haya ya asili.

WEWE MZAZI UKIJIONA UNAAKILI BASI KUNA WAJANJA ZAIDI YAKO, ILIMRADI TU WAPENDE KIBINT CHAKO

Read this "Hate Letter". It is so funny and creative. This is a
love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father
does not like him and want them stop their relationship......and
so.. the boy wrote this letter to the girl. he knows that the girl's
father will definitely read this letter.......

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."
So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the
boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to
read 1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd Numbers) So. Please try reading it
again! It's so sweet....

DUH! BORA KUJIAJIRI NINGEFUGA RASTA KAMA NDESANJO KULIKO MAMBO KAMA HAYA

1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary.If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume youare doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, sothat you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do notneed a pay raise.
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be andtherefore you do not need a pay raise. Sick Days We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Holiday Days Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. Compassionate Leave This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch break and subsequently leave one hour early. Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now astrict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper rollwill retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture willbe taken.
3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the companynotice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under thecompany's mental health policy. Lunch Break
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so thatthey can look healthy.
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal tomaintain their average figure.
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the timeneeded to drink a Slim-Fast. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations,irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations,contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere

patakuwa hapatoshi

yamebaki masaa machache vijana wa JK11 watakapopambana na simba wa teranga, tuungane pamoja kuishangilia na kuiombea timu yetu iweze kushinda mpambano wa kesho, Mungu Ibariki Tanzania ,MUngu ibariki Timu yetu ya Taifa.

Tafsiri nyingine ya globalization

Bwana egidio wakati umetoa hoja yako kuusu utandawazi ckupata muda kuchangia, nazani utakuwa ushapata mjibu, lakini sio mbaya kama utapata tafsiri nyingine isiyo rasimi kuusu utandawazi. embu endelea kuisoma ..

QUESTION: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

ANSWER: Princess Diana's death.QUESTION: How come? ANSWER: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky,followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles;treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. U saw it over the TV through CNN based in Atlanta with its satelites in Hawaii presented by an a Khazikistan presenter, anchored by an Indian at 6pm Greenwhich Meriadian time.This is sent to you by an African, using Bill Gate’s (an american) technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips,
and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Pakistan lorry-drivers,
hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked by Nigerian illegals, later shiped by Italians (mediterano shiping)

received in Tanzania ports, by South African (T-Scan) sold to you by Chinese in Tanzania....!


That, my friend, is Globalization…!!!!

style yao kivyaovyao

vijana wa chemical romance Teenagers wakipaform nimependa style yao

nikiwa mo town ,muji kasoro bahari

najuwa ni wengi hatukupata muda wa kuagana lakini nduguzangu napenda mujue kwamba kwa sasa nimepata makazi ya kudumu morogoro, kwa muliopo morogoro tutaftane.

Wabongo tunatoka tu!!!!!!!!!

hatimaye mlimbwende wa Tanzania kwenye kinyang'anyiro cha kumtafuta mlimbwende wa wa dunia {miss universe 2007} ametutoa watanzania na waafrika kwa ujumla, kuwa baina ya walimbwende kumi bora duniani si jambo la kupuuzia ni jambo la kumpongeza na kumtakia mafanikio katika fani hii ya ulimbwende, ingawaje katika mahojiano aliyofanya kule mexico alisistiza kuwa ndoto zake ni kuwa injinia si kumbuki wa fani gani, hongera sana Flavian Matata, tunategemea utazidi kung'ara na kutupaisha katika anga za kimataifa ukishiriana na waliokutangulia.naamini ulistahili kufika zaidi ya hapo.habari zaidi bofya hapa

Mkoa mpya wa magereza Tanzania

ule mkoa ulio ibuka Tanzania hivi majuzi umeweka sheria mpya za barabarani, mkuu wamkoa wa magereza bwana dito na kamanda wake wa mkoa bwana Zombe wametia saini kupitisha sheria hizo, baathi ni kama hiyo apo juu.

nafasi za kazi bongo

muliopo ugaibuni rudini bongo kuna nafasi nyeti za kazi, mwingine ndio huyo kajiachisha, mtoto wamjini Dito, naogopa wasije waka m Sadam, ingawaje sadamu hawakumtendea haki

wametuletea kachumbari sasa

mambo yamekucha bongo, kwa huduma za mawasiliano bongo inakuja juu, kama uliondoka miezi michache iliyopita ukija utabaki ukishangaa mambo kiulayaulaya, walitupatia huduma za GPRS kwenye simu zetu tigo na celtel,tigo na maanisha iliyokuwa ikiitwa mobitel tz,tunaweza kupata huduma za internate kwa kutumia simu na zaidi wamekuja jamaa wa kachumbari watembelee uone vinogesho kwa watumiaji wa simu za mikononi.achana na hao wale watafuta vipaji vya fleva za bongo Egidio najua unamkumbuka mkandiaji wa sanaa za bongo sister duu Salama, c ndiyo? watembelee bongo star search, wajamaa wanaponda hawa balaa, wengi wamejuta kushiriki, salama kama kawa anawapa za uso,ina discouradge lakini tutafika. pongezi kwa Master J kwa ushauri unaotoa kwa vijana iyo ndio inatakiwa, big up man!!!!!!!!!

SIFA ZA KIJINGA!!!!

Sii MABUZI tena, sasa ni ATM

Nazungumzia jina jipya kabisa la wanaume wakware maarufu kwa kuhonga zamani wakiitwa mabuzi sasa hivi ATM. ATM ni mashine maalumu za benki za kutumia umeme ambazo hutumika kuchukulia fedha saa yoyote na mahali popote ilipo, ilimradi una akaunti na kadi husika. Nilikuwa kwenye bar moja marufu hapa town na jirani yangu walikaa wanawake wawili wakiwa wanakunywa maji ya chupa kwa muda mrefu. wenyewe wanayaita maji spesho! Kwa mtazamo walionekana mambo yao si ”haba” (wanazo) na maana mavazi yao tu yalikuwa utambulisho kuwa wanapesa. lakini kwa kuwa nilikuwa karibu yao, niliweza kunasa mazungumzo yao kwa urahisi. ”Shoga hapa mimi nina elfu moja tu, tuagize maji ya mia tatu chupa mbili ili ibaki nauli, maana hii ATM yangu isipotokea tumeadhirika”, mwana dada mmoja alimweleza mwenzake.
Mashine ya ATM inayotoa fedha chapchap Nikajiuliza ATM wanayozungumzia hapa ni nini?nikasema leo nitaona mwisho wake.Nikajisogeza karibu yao kwa chat ili kunasa stori zaidi Haikupita nusu saa ilikuja gari moja ndogo na baadaye akashuka jamaa mmoja hivi akuonekana ameshiba sana,hapo ndipo mmoja kati ya wale wakina dada akaruka kwa furaha na kumwambia mwenzake ATM yangu hiyo sasa nina amani. Hapa ndiyo nikapata picha kuwa kumbe ATM inayozungumziwa hapa ni mwanaume! kweli baada ya jamaa kufika na kujiunga kwenye meza yao, meza yao ilibalika na kuwa ya ”heshima”, maana walianza kuagiza bia kwa fujo. Hapa najaribu tu kuwa kumbusha wale ndugu zangu ambao huwa wanajisahau sana kufanya mambo ya msingi na kuishia kuhonga zaidi kuwa sasa wamebatizwa jina jipya kutoka MABUZI na kuwa ATM. bwana egidio wahindi awajakugeuza ATM?

MR EBO ALISEMA MBADO HAJAWAI KUONA

self conteiner ndani ni choo cha shimo...mbado! kondoo a
naye rembua!!! mbado!!!!!!! sasa hiyo cha mtoto. umewahi kuona karoti yenye mahips? na bata akimpanda kuku? basi leo ona hiyo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SABABU ZA TSUNAMI INASEMEKANA NI HAWA APA

KUTOKANA NA UZITO KUPITA KIASI INA SEMEKANA WALICHANGIA KUTOKEA KWA TSUNAMI, JE WEWE UNAUNGA MKONO????

hii ni zaidi ya mapanki

tulivyoambiwa tunakula mapanki tulikataa na kumlaani hurbet sauper lakini minaona hii ni kashfa mbaya zaidi ya mapanki, mwenzangu unasemaje apo?

aliye kuja miaka ya tisini hata amini, miaka kumi ijayo mambo yatakuwaje?

Jamani eh,
Hivi kuna mtu ashawahi kukaa na kufikiri miaka michache ijayo mambo yatakuwaje??? Hebu kwa mfano mwaka 2016 twaweza shuhudia yafuatayo hapa Tanzania:
1) Wakati huo dawa ya ukimwi ishapatikana, mtu unaenda ofisini baada ya kutokuwepo kwa takriban majuma mawili. Bila shida unaongea na bosi wako huku ukimueleza..."Bosi, yaani ka-ukimwi kalinitandika vibaya sana last week" halafu sijui kwa nini mimi kananiandama hivyo.................

2) Bungeni napo tunakuwa na waheshimiwa kama Mr Ebo,
Kingwendu, Bambo na wafananao na hao. Unasikia spika akisema....Mheshimiwa Bambo swali la nyongeza. Bambo, "Mheshimiwa spika pamoja na majibu mazuri ya Waziri wa michezo na utamadun (Chifupa enzi hizo) naombi kuuliza swali hivi kwa nini siku ya fiesta isiwe sherehe ya kitaifa ambapo raisi atatoa mapumziko nchi nzima???

3) Uswahilini nako kama Manzese kutakuwa na maghorofa ya kutisha...Majungu ya akina mama wa apartment zilizo jirani yatakuwa...Hause girl wangu siku hizi hapiki bila kutizama DSTV ili kuona wenzake wa Afrika Kusini wanavyotengeneza masalo. Wewe wako bado anatizama kipindi cha mapishi ya ITV na Clouds TV???? Tv ya Clouds wakati huo kama CNN

4) Nako maofisini itakuwa utata mtupu, haitokuwa jambo la ajabu kuongea na bosi wa kiume huku heleni zinamning'inia masikioni. Na si ajabu akipata taarifa ya ghafla kuwa kampuni yake imepata hasara suruali ikamdondoka manake uvaaji ni ule wa bila mkanda huku ikiwa imeegeshwa chini ya matako (kata-K)"au nusu mlingoti"

5) Ukipita Sinza ndo utatoa macho...watoto wa chekechea wamajipanga kwenye ATM mashines kuchukua pesa ya kununulia lambalamba shuleni kwao. Yaani itakuwa mtafaruku mtupu...Mara mtoto mmoja anamwambia mtoto mwenzie, baba kanidipositia cheki feki, imebaunsi hivyo leo ice cream nitachukua kwa overdraft.

kikwete akichukua uzoefu kwa maveterani

Atawazee wakikutana mahali awakosi utani, hapo wanaonekana maraisi wastaafu mzee ruksa, ukweli na uwazi na kasi mpya wakibadilishana mawazo, maneno yaliopo chini yasichukuliwe maanani ni utani tu uliopandikizwa.

How to ask your Boss for a salary increase..?

One day you send a letter to your boss asking for an increase in your salary!
Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
The next day, you received this letter of reply:
Oh my dear:
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly